Abstract: The term “sandwich generation”
describes people caught between caring for their aging parents and their children.
This brief article encourages those in the middle part of the sandwich to
initiate family discussions with the other two parts to discuss tax and
financial planning issues.
Talking about the sandwich generation
The
term “sandwich generation” was originally coined to describe Baby Boomers
caught between caring for their aging parents and their children. Now the term
applies to whichever generation happens to be grappling with the problem. If
you’re in the middle part of the sandwich, one thing that can help is having
one or more honest discussions about the situation.
When
preparing for such a discussion, start with the “bottom” part of the sandwich:
your children. Assuming they’re still in their formative years, make them your
top priority. At this stage, you’ll still have most of the control over the
decisions affecting their lives. These involve personal choices that are
different for every family.
The
“upper” half of the sandwich can be more problematic. Depending on their health
status and other factors, including finances, your parents may resist your
efforts to assist them. They may be oblivious to changes or dismissive of your
concerns. And their attitude might range from being cooperative to highly
resistant.
To
initiate a family meeting, invite all the key players — your parents, siblings
and, as appropriate, their spouses, at the least. In the “old normal,” the
gathering would have best been held face-to-face. In light of the COVID-19
pandemic, however, you may want to consider an online video chat instead.
What
should you discuss? Cover the entire tax and financial planning gamut. The
dialogue should be frank and honest. Many issues can be sensitive, and emotions
can run high, so be prepared for some handwringing or pushback.
You
probably won’t be able to accomplish all your objectives in a single session.
Consider meeting again with as many of the other parties as possible. In fact,
you might broaden the circle to include your CPA or attorney.
©
2020